My husband and I were on a bucket list trip to Costa Rica when I accidentally stepped on a sea urchin while snorkeling. Eleven spines were embedded in my foot.  But the real problem was that I have lymphedema in the affected leg and foot, and I knew if I ever got an infection in it, there could be severe complications. So, I was beginning to panic.

Our tour guide told me to see a doctor when we got home since we were leaving the next day, but he made a trip to the pharmacy to get me antibiotics.

When he arrived at our hotel room with the medication, he also had a bottle of vodka in hand. I figured that was one way to dull the pain. He explained his fisherman friend told him I needed to soak my foot in it. I sat for the next hour on our balcony overlooking the ocean with my foot in a bucket of vodka. I can’t make this stuff up.

I’m not going to lie. I was mad. And scared. And so irritated with myself for being stupid and ruining our last day of vacation. My mind started running through every horrible possible outcome: my foot was going to get infected, I would need surgery to get the spikes out, I would lose my foot, I was gonna die.

Am I the only one who completely freaks out and imagines all the worst possible outcomes in every situation?

As I stewed, guilt also overwhelmed me. I will never get past fear. I will always be afraid of something. God must be so disappointed and frustrated with me because I will never learn. Why can’t I trust Him no matter what the circumstances?

As I tried to pray and ask God to forgive my lack of trust, I heard Him say, “I am not disappointed in you.”

Wait, what? You’re not? How can you not be? I am such a failure. Everything scares me. I always need your reassurance.

Over the next several days as I traveled back home, went to doctor appointments, and took antibiotics, it struck me that He wants us to come to Him when we are scared. He even tells us to do that very thing in 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV), “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”

We can tell Him we are terrified, and He will reassure us over and over again. Why? Because He cares for us. We are His children. He knows we are needy.

When we fail, are afraid, or repeat the same mistakes we’ve made before, He is not disappointed in us. What makes Him sad is when we run and hide from Him. He wants us to come to Him so that He can reassure us and help us in our time of need.

Too often we believe that any sign of fear or anxiety means we lack faith. But when we tell Him what we are feeling, we show we depend on His strength not our own. That’s the perfect place to be.

Will I be afraid again sometime? I can guarantee I will. But I also know I will run to Him, and He will welcome me with open arms.

What do you do when you are scared? Do you ever feel like a huge disappointment to God? Don’t run from Him but to Him. Let Him remind you how much He loves you, and how proud He is of you. He is not disappointed in you. He wants to help you. He wants you to depend on Him and not yourself.